Beyonce Releases Voice Memo Of Shopping List; Goes Platinum

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By: Ross Childs

Chicago, IL – Fans rejoiced today when Beyonce Knowles released a new album consisting entirely of her listing items from her grocery shopping list. The album,titled, Banana Milk Eggs, is believed to be a conceptual continuation of her groundbreaking 2016 release, Lemonade. This new album leads to an eventual series of albums that music experts have already dubbed, “The Delicious Cycle.” The new work, a bold, awe-inspiring spoken word style with absolutely no music, went double-platinum approximately fifteen minutes after its release.

Banana Milk Eggs, or “BME,” features a number of catchy singles, not the least of which is the fiery second track, titled Cage Free. The song includes such heart-wrenching lyrics as, “Remember to get cage-free eggs, and organic, open-range chicken.” Queen Bee loves responsible agricultural practices.

Already, we’re hearing a loud, proud message from Beyonce as she tears down walls left and right. With Cage Free, she is taking a sledgehammer to the old world, thus “freeing” herself from the “cage” of patriarchal thinking. Bey frees everyone from their cages!

She continues the auditory revolution with track five Tide where she sings, “Make sure the Tide Pods are stored high so Blue Ivy can’t get to them. She hasn’t yet shown interest in them, but she may soon desire to be YouTube famous, so until then, the pods go up high.” The joyous, benevolent, and gracious Queen of all music is saying here that knowledge comes with a heavy burden, and part of that burden is turning the “tide” of culture toward a bright and safe future.

Other songs on the album include Snacks for Lunches, Stop by the Bank, Apples and Oranges, Cereal?, Twin Formula, and a mysterious bonus track called, Clone Laboratory, which features lyrics like, “Stop by clone laboratory and get updated on clone Jay-Z.  See if they have solved the melting problem.” This could be a speculative look at America finally becoming a true melting pot in the future.

Be on the lookout for Beyonce’s Banana Milk Eggs.  It leaves the listener hungry…for change.