Spreading the word around…

Category archive

Movies

Find out which movies aren't making advances in stem cell research.

Marvel Already Announcing Stan Lee Reboot

by

By: Darren D. Daly Unwilling to let a franchise die, even in the midst of Stan Lee’s passing, Walt Disney subsidiary, Marvel Studios, has made a major announcement about the future of its biggest moneymaker. Rather than taking a minute to mourn, they have instead released a teaser poster for the reboot of the beloved creator of such iconic characters as Spider-Man, The Hulk, and Mr. Candelabra. Working under the title Stan Lee: Again, indie movie writer/director Bo Burnham has already penned the first draft of Lee that producers are predicting will be the year’s best source of money. President…

Keep Reading

Doctor Strange’s Cloak To Be First Openly Gay Character In Marvel Cinematic Universe

by

By: Allie Rubin LOS ANGELES, CA—Marvel Studios is further whetting fans’ appetites for the currently untitled fourth Avengers movie by promising that the film will feature the franchise’s first openly gay character: Dr. Strange’s cloak. “We previously assumed that gay people only liked musicals and Timothée Chalamet films,” confessed Kevin Feige, president of Marvel Studios, at a recent press conference. “However, new market research has revealed that homosexuals do indeed like all kinds of movies. As such, we are delighted to announce that the next Avengers film will feature Dr. Strange’s cloak as the MCU’s first openly gay character.” “For…

Keep Reading

President Clearly Never Seen A Single Episode Of VeggieTales

by

By: Nicholas Scutti WASHINGTON, D.C.—At FaithCon, an interfaith convention in the nation’s capital, ministers, rabbis, and imams, among others, gathered to discuss President Donald Trump’s ethics and values, if he had any. After hours of debate, the members of the convention made a radical conclusion: that President Trump has clearly never seen a single episode of VeggieTales. “It makes a lot of sense when you think about it,” said Cardinal Christopher Jones, Vice President of the convention. “VeggieTales teaches us how to love and care for one another. It’s a well known fact that former president Jimmy Carter only started…

Keep Reading

New MoviePass Terms Mandate Polygraph, Urine Tests After Each Showing

by

By: Jake Dierksheide NEW YORK, NY—In another controversial move, MoviePass updated their terms of service again on Monday. According to the press release from CEO Mitch Lowe: effective immediately all MoviePass users will be required to sit down for a 38-question interrogation while wired to a lie detector, as well as ship samples of blood and urine to MoviePass Headquarters for analysis. The company, which offers near-unlimited free movies to users for the price of one half of one movie a month, has been hemorrhaging money since striking mainstream popularity last fall. “I’ve finally cracked it!’ exclaimed a disheveled and…

Keep Reading

Can We Guess Which Pirates of the Caribbean Film You Lost Your Mouth Virginity To? [QUIZ]

by

Can We Guess Which Pirates of the Caribbean Film You Lost Your Mouth Virginity To? By: Zack PeercyWe’ve all been there: fooling around with that guy who was really into the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Maybe you were in a movie theater, maybe it was just on TV in the background, but you definitely popped your mouth cherry to an installment in the Pirates franchise. And by answering these ten questions, we at Word Brothel can guess which one and what that says about you. Drink up me hearties, yo-ho!  Start Quiz Question Your answer: Correct answer: Next You…

Keep Reading

Movie Explosions Form Union After Unfair Treatment From Michael Bay

by

By: Ross Childs HOLLYWOOD, CA—After a series of shocking accusations of mistreatment and unfair pay were levied against Michael Bay, several movie explosions have formed a union to hopefully get the famed director to agree to more equitable conditions. Bay employs hundreds, if not thousands, of Hollywood’s most notable fiery explosions, but even the hardest working boom-booms have turned out in support. “It’s a crying shame,” Demolition Dale, one of the gas truck explosions from Bad Boys 2 said in a recent comment, “folks try to downplay our roles as ‘flash in the pan,’ but we literally blow our asses…

Keep Reading

Justice At Last: The Weinstein Company Is Changing All Of Harvey Weinstein’s Producing Credits To ‘Farty McMasturbator’

by

By: Jason Elewski Just as the they are about to file for bankruptcy and free anyone bound by a non-disclosure agreement regarding their once virile founder, Harvey Weinstein, the Weinstein Company is taking one more act of penance to correct years of wrong-doing. After unwittingly ruining the lives and careers of any woman whose vocabulary included the word “no”, the Weinstein Company has decided to clear the slate of their tainted history and replace all of Harvey Weinstein’s producing credits with the name Farty McMasturbator, simultaneously shaming Mr. Weinstein and allowing viewers to watch their favorite flicks, unimpeded by the…

Keep Reading

Meryl Streep Seen Throwing Away Plans For House Made Entirely Of Oscar Statues

by

By: Ross Childs HOLLYWOOD, CA — Another Oscar night has come and gone, and many artists walked away with a coveted gold statue. One person, however, seems to have been snubbed by the awards again this year. Meryl Streep did not win for Best Actress this year, much to her chagrin, as she was seen disposing of plans to build a summer home out of Oscar statues in a Hollywood waste basket. Meryl Streep received the Best Actress nomination for her role opposite Tom Hanks in The Post: a 2017 Drama that my mom told me was good. This was…

Keep Reading

New Streaming Service Exclusively Features Blacklisted Hollywood Predators

by

By: Madeleine Russell Chicago, IL – Netflix has top billing in the world of content streaming services, but a new competitor is about to debut. Amazon, who has already seen tremendous success with their streaming service through Prime, will be utilizing dozens of blacklisted hollywood sexual predators with it’s new streaming platform, Amazon Crime. After this year’s thundering #timesup presence at the Golden Globes, a growing number of entertainment perverts have found themselves with no voice, career, or power with which to wield over women’s bodies. This cesspool of unused, disgusting, shameful garbage is ripe with potential, according to Amazon…

Keep Reading

Go to Top