Demand Drives Early Release of “Pre Half-Mast Flag Poles”

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By: Madeleine Russell

Chicago, IL -Americans had barely begun to consider raising their flags to full mast after the October 1st Las Vegas shooting when they were again taken with obligatory sympathy brought on by the most recent mass shooting in a Florida School this week.

In our current gun soaked, background check absent and tragedy ridden American culture, one can barely drive through a rural area or affluent neighborhood without seeing that tell tale sign of National mourning: the half mast flag.

American flag pole manufacturers have read the writing on the wall, if not the room. This week Flag Polooza, Inc will release “The Pre-Half Mast Flag Pole.”

“I’d like to say that this was sparked by the most recent tragedy in Texas…but it’s been a long time in the works, actually,” remarked Dick Owens, Flag Polooza Chairman. “It’s cheaper, smaller and easy to use. Set it and forget it.”

The aging population of consumers who actually spend time and money on flags are definitely appreciating the ease that a Pre-Half Mast Flag Pole can provide, “My back was killing me-wait, no. I’m sorry.  Nevermind” comments local flag owning baby boomer.  “Where would you even buy a flag pole?” quandaried local 20-year-old.

Americans are now armed with thoughts, prayers, flag poles, and, of course, guns. So it’s safe to say The Pre-Half Mast Flag Pole is here to stay!