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jam band

Phish Plays 27 Minute National Anthem At Boston Red Sox Game

By: Maximilian Stolte BOSTON, MA—Yesterday the Red Sox played the Angels and Phish phans everywhere rejoiced as the band was in attendance to watch the team and perform their rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner”, or for newbs to the music scene, “The National Anthem”. The crowd was both perplexed and upset when the cover of this beloved song not only included heavy improvisation on guitar, a 3 minute drum solo, an a cappella section, and the use of a vacuum cleaner as an instrument, but also lasted 27 minutes. Music and baseball fans alike agreed that the jam band… … Keep Reading

Family Plans Vacation Same Weekend As String Cheese Incident In Town A-Fucking-Gain

By: Maximilian Stolte ATLANTA, GA—This spring, as countless families flee south for vacation to escape the cold winds of the north, one family in particular was looking forward to a little site seeing, rest and relaxation. What was waiting for the Watts family was anything but relaxing. For the third vacation in a row, the Wattses booked their hotel in close proximity to a String Cheese Incident show. James Watts, father, golfer, and CPA, says he could tell before even checking in to the hotel that yet another relaxing stay would be ruined. “I could smell the marijuana in the… … Keep Reading

Gateway Concert: Dave Matthews Band Could Lead Your Children To Dangerous Bands Like Phish

By: Maximilian Stolte CHICAGO, IL—American rock band Dave Matthews Band, or as attendees of their seemingly benign concerts call them, “DMB”, is gearing up for their summer tour and once again unexpecting children will be exposed to the seeds of concert-going. On the surface, their concert events appear to allow fans to revisit nostalgic radio rock performed live by a wavering-voiced Dave Matthews. Below the surface and behind the clouds of one-hitter smoke lies something more sinister: a gateway to dangerous, life ruining jam bands like Phish or, heaven forbid, Dead and Company. Dave Matthews Band themselves aren’t entirely malevolent.… … Keep Reading

Widespread Panic Tour Sponsored By Viagra: Response To Whiskey/Coke Dick Epidemic

Jun. 2, 2016 For the past 30 years, Southern rock jam band Widespread Panic has toured the country and played sold out shows to fans ranging from drug induced hippies to whiskey fueled rednecks. In the wake of their shows they leave good times, memories, and a trail of drug and alcohol related erectile dysfunction the likes of which the jam band scene has yet to see. Armed with this knowledge, Pfizer has decided to sponsor the band’s upcoming tour and will be passing out Viagra samples outside of every show in every city. The drugs of choice for Spreadnecks… … Keep Reading

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