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olympics

Lindsey Vonn Fears Dancing With The Stars In Her Future

By: Mike Maxwell Pyeongchang, South Korea – The world just witnessed the swan song of arguably one of the best skiers of all time, Lindsey Vonn. At the sad but true age of thirty three, her Olympic career is over. It’s a bittersweet time for the legend as she gave it all on the slopes experiencing championships, broken bones, and even a footnote relationship with Tiger Woods. Vonn currently stands with the highest Super Ranking of any skier and has confirmed her competitive skiing career is over. Now what? The road ahead for sports legends has a few paths to… … Keep Reading

Putin Grounded By Rest Of World For Entire Olympics

By: Maximilian Stolte Moscow, Russia—Russian Olympic athletes were banned from competing in this year’s Winter Olympics and to add insult to injury, Vladimir Putin was sent to his room for the entirety of the games. With little more than some colored pencils and coloring books to keep him occupied, the Russian leader is becoming a little stir crazy. Reports from his bedroom thus far have been bleak at best. He’s finished all of his puzzles, built several Star Wars LEGO sets, and doodled several pictures of him and Donald Trump holding hands under suns with smiley faces. With indoor activities… … Keep Reading

Donald Trump Just Asked The Entire U.S. Olympic Team To Come Back Home So That He Could Have His Own Opening Ceremony In Washington

By: Jason Elewski WASHINGTON DC—With the launch of 1,218 Shooting Star drones and Yuna Kim lighting the torch, the 2018 Winter Olympics began, uniting the world to bear witness to the majesty and beauty that people can create when they want to make one hell of a parade. Everyone watching the opening ceremony was undoubtedly impressed by the spectacle, but one viewer was left nearly speechless: Donald Trump. Having seen the ceremony on his bedroom television over a bucket of extra crispy KFC, Trump reportedly shook his index finger at the screen, screaming “whoa neato”, before picking up his phone,… … Keep Reading

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